Team Possible II: Maggots of Doom
by King in Yellow
Summary: A YouTube video claims to show a giant something at an atomic bomb test site. Despite skepticism from friends and family Tim Possible wants to check it out. An early adventure which chronicles the group's first meeting with the BPRD. There is something out there, in the tunnels running into the earth – but what dug them? Best Enemies universe.
1. It's Never So Bad It Can't Get Worse

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

First two chapters are years old. I figure starting to post will force me to write the ending. Chronologically, a very early Team Possible II story. It's in the Blood and Doppelganger are earlier, but represents an origin rather than a team story. Set after unwritten Madness at Innsmouth

 **It's Never So Bad It Can't Get Worse**

"Bogus," Jim snorted.

"You didn't even look close," Tim protested.

"Didn't need to. Giant radioactive maggots? Don't you know most of YouTube is fake? You ought to watch MythBusters instead of that junk."

"It doesn't say radioactive."

"No, it just claims it was taken over an old atomic bomb testing site. That isn't even original. It's like someone just ripped off a plot from a bad fifties horror movie."

"Not to change the subject, but were there any good fifties horror movies?"

"Not that I know of. So, you're admitting I'm right?"

"I'm not admitting anything. Would anything convince you?"

"Convince me a lie is true? I hope not."

"There were other witnesses in the plane, besides the guy who got the video with his cell phone."

"Drunk or his buddies, I'll bet."

"How about the fact the US Army is investigating."

"What? That's probably some BS story."

Tim smiled, "Satellite pictures," he told his twin, pulling them from a folder. "They set up less than a mile from the site where the video was shot. I verified that."

"Let me see those." Jim stared at the photos for a minute. "These don't prove anything. I don't know when these were taken–"

"Date stamped."

"Can be faked. But even if the timestamp is right it doesn't prove why they are there. And even if they are there to investigate a crazy rumor it doesn't mean the crazy rumor is true."

"I think you're leaving reasonable doubt for unreasonable doubt. We should ask Wade's opinion."

Bego was in Wade's office. The metal girl nodded at the twins, "What's. buzzin'. cousins? Wade. says. I. am. rapidly. becomin'. my. own. person."

"Good going," Tim laughed and gave his metal cousin a high five before turning to Wade, "See the story on a giant maggot in the dessert?"

"Probably a fake," the dark-skinned young man replied.

"See," Jim told his twin, "he agrees with me."

"He said probably," Tim pointed out. "That's not the same as no."

"It's close enough."

"Wade," Tim demanded, "do you think the story is impossible?"

Wade shrugged, "A couple months ago a weird vampire thing captured Shego, Ron, and Kim. A couple weeks ago I nearly got eaten by a monster squid. And Bego is a metal duplication of Joss, at least as far as her memory goes—"

"I. think. I. look. better."

"I think I prefer the original," Wade grinned, then looked back at the twins. "Point is, I'd be real careful about calling anything impossible without a little more investigation."

"I say we investigate," Tim told his brother. "Five bucks says I'm right."

"Five bucks? Oohh, big spender. Sounds like you're real convinced you're right." Jim sneered.

"I'm not crazy," Tim asserted. "I don't know that it's right. But it'd be fun to look." He turned to Wade, "Can we borrow a hovercraft?"

"Can. Joss. and. I. come. with. you?"

"Sure," Tim agreed.

"Hey, let's run this by Drakken," Wade insisted. "He might object to loaning out the hovercraft for a joy ride."

"It's not a joy ride," Tim insisted. "Research. Serious scientific research."

"You. don't. really. believe. that, do. you?"

"Heck no, but I figure it's got a chance of getting us a hovercraft."

Drakken had no particular problem with loaning the hovercraft, "But we should run it by Zita."

"Why?" Jim demanded.

"Well… She seems to know what she's doing with things. She's made suggestions that save money and… I sort of asked her to track expenses. She's going to say taking the hovercraft is a waste of money."

"Who's running this place," Jim countered. "The name is Lipsky and Load. You're the boss."

"Well, technically," the blue man agreed. "But I wouldn't mind making a pile of money, and I think she can help me — I mean, us, to do it."

Tim chuckled, "So, the plan now is to take over the world financially?" Drakken shrugged. "Is there any kind of excuse you can give her?"

"I'm not sure I—"

"Your radiation suits," Wade interrupted.

"What. radiation. suits?"

"Those were for a plan to—"

"Yeah, I know why you invented them. But you mentioned they might be worth submitting for that competition."

"What competition?" Jim asked.

"Government wants some very high quality suits," Drakken explained, "in case we have our own Chernobyl, or one of the reactors by a fault gets hit with a big earthquake."

"And what better place to test them out than an old atomic bomb testing site?" Wade finished.

"For a proper test we need to install dosimeters in the suits," the blue man pointed out.

"Tim and Jim can do that this afternoon, as soon as Zita clears it."

"Hey, why us?" Jim protested.

"You and Tim had the idea. You want to go check it out, you put in the dosimeters."

While the four men pitched the idea to Zita for approval Bego called Joss. They made plans for Saturday, assuming that Drakken, Wade, and the twins might be able to convince Zita to let them use the hovercraft for a test of the radiation suits.

Anne Possible was up early on Saturday morning to prepare breakfast before the teens departed. "Be careful," she warned her sons.

"Mom!" Jim protested. "You never told Kim to be careful."

"Yes I did."

"Not as much as you tell us," Tim grumbled.

"There's a reason for that." She turned to Joss and Bego, "Keep them out of trouble, if you can."

"Mom!" Jim protested again.

"We. will. do. our. best," the metal girl promised.

With the pile of bags containing the bulky radiation suites the hovercraft was terribly cramped, although Wade and Joss didn't seem to mind being crowded closely together.

"Ah don't want Bego goin' in there," Joss announced as they neared the old test site.

"What. is. your. problem?"

"Radiation might do somethin' bad to your circuits."

"That's. what. the. radiation. suits. are. for," Bego shot back.

"Well, Ah don't know that—"

Wade coughed, "Actually, neither of you will suit up."

"What?" Joss protested.

"First," Drakken reminded them, "neither of you are Lipsky and Load employees. Second, radiation might affect the circuitry of the hovercraft and we don't want prolonged exposure for that. We'll leave Bego off at the Army's position, suit up, and Joss will fly us in close then go back and wait with Bego."

"Did anyone think to clear this with the army?" Jim grumbled.

"The radiation suits are for the military," Wade reminded him. "I'm hoping they'll be impressed by seeing them in action."

"What I asked was if anyone cleared this with the army? I can see them shooting first and asking questions later."

To avoid a hostile appearance Drakken slowed the craft as they neared the location where satellite photos had shown the army patrol's base, but the flat area near the supposed sighting was empty. "Found out it was bogus and went home," Jim predicted.

Tim shrugged, "Maybe… Looks like I owe you five bucks."

"Well, we're still going to test the radiation suits," Wade told them.

"Ah, man, that sounds like work," Tim moaned.

"Well I don't want to tell Zita we went out to test the suits and then didn't," Drakken told the twins.

They set down in the flat area. "Weird. color. from. over. there."

"Let me see," Joss said and took her sister's hand. "Wow."

"Weird color?" Drakken asked.

"I. can. see. beyond. the. visible. spectrum."

"Radiation?" Tim suggested.

"We've looked at a chunk of uranium in the science classroom," Joss answered. "Don't look nothin' like this."

"Maybe sheer volume," Jim contributed. "They're not going to have anything dangerous at Middleton High. They don't worry about that when they're testing A-bombs."

"Maybe," Bego agreed reluctantly. The blue girl helped the others into their suits.

"Ah'll be back in a minute after Ah drop 'em off," Joss promised.

"We'll stay in touch and call you to get us after our tests," Wade promised.

Joss returned to Bego, but looked slightly worried. "Wish Ah coulda gone in with 'em."

"What. is. wrong?"

"Don't rightly know, but there were some holes goin' down into the ground out there."

"Could. the. giant. maggot. in. the. video. have. done. it?"

Joss shrugged, "Don't know. Army coulda dug tunnels. Maybe some natural phenomenon Ah've not heard of. Let me call the guys." She turned on the transceiver, "Hey, got anything to say? How deep them things go?"

"Don't know," Tim's voice came back. "We're going real slow. Even Jim thinks being careful isn't a bad idea."

"Good. for. Jim," Bego commented in the background.

"Wade's getting some curious readings on radiation levels."

"Curious? Higher than expected? Any problem with the suits?"

"Nah, radiation levels seem to get lower as we go in."

Bego nudged Joss to call her attention from the radio. A convey of military vehicles was approaching. A man in the lead jeep appeared to be the commanding officer, at least that was one of Bego's opinions in regard to the man. The second opinion was that he did not look happy to see the two young women there. "Talk with you in a minute, cuz. Looks like the army's here."

Colonel Woodruff was not a happy man. He'd had a long and undistinguished career and didn't want anything to disturb that in the less than three years until retirement. He knew enough about the people he was with to know they spelled potential trouble for his plans. He harbored a second resentment as well. In his mind he should have been in charge of the operation. In theory he was in charge of the operation, but he suspected he was merely in charge of logistical support for the civilians in the convoy. Still, if there were problems it would probably the civilians who got killed or took the blame. He should probably just put on his happy face and help them with whatever they needed.

He lost his happy face at the sight of two young women sitting in what appeared to be a flying saucer in the staging area. "Pull up beside them," he barked to his driver. The blue girl turned inhuman, red glowing eyes on him as the driver turned off the jeep. "Are you with the BPRD?" he shouted at them.

"What. is. the. B.P.R.D?" a mechanical voice answered.

"No, Sir," Joss called.

"Why are you here? The road block…" The colonel closed his eyes and a pained expression flitted across his face. "You flew in with that thing, didn't you?"

"Yep. Didn't see no roadblocks from the air."

He turned to the driver, "Have the MPs take these two into custody."

"We, uh, don't have any MPs, Sir."

"Why not?"

"They're manning the roadblocks, Sir. We weren't expecting anyone inside the perimeter."

During the exchange between the colonel and Joss and Bego the rest of the convoy parked and a tall figure strode over. The newcomer looked less human than Bego. His skin was a bright red. What Bego first thought were some sort of goggles, pushed back on his forehead, on closer examination looked more like the stumps of sawn off horns. The metal girl assumed the rocky looking right hand was some sort of glove, but he did seem to have a tail under his long duster-style coat. "Problem, Colonel?" the newcomer asked.

"Trespassers," Woodruff grunted.

The red man stared at the pair for a minute as a handful of his friends left their vehicle and joined him. "Why are you two out here?" he demanded.

"Lipsky and Load are testing radiation suits and—"

"Lipsky and Load?"

"Research and development. They—"

Another less than human figure demanded, "Are you saying there are people out there running tests?"

"Yes, they're testing—"

"Get them out!" the red man ordered. "Now!"

A woman in the group told the teens, "Two soldiers died in there investigating what's going on."

Even as the dark-haired woman spoke Joss tried to contact Tim, "Tim, get out of there. Get out of there now. Army says it's really dangerous. I'm not kidding, Tim, get out of there."

There was a minute of tense silence between Tim's voice came back. "Really?"

"Ah'm not kiddin' Tim. We got the army here and… and Ah'm not sure what this guy is, but if'n he says it's dangerous Ah'm gonna take his word for it."

"We've almost got the data we need. Give us—"

The red man reached in and took the microphone from Joss, "You'll get out now on your own feet. If you can. I'm not interested in pulling your corpses out to see if there's enough left to identify. And there's no guarantee you'll make it out if you start now."

"Yes, Sir," Tim shot back.

"And keep talking until you get out of there," the red man commanded. "We want to know you're still alive."

The group around the hovercraft kept silent as Tim broadcast a stream of reports on their progress toward the surface. "See the light," he reported. "Wade's out," The terrain was too rolling for those in the staging area to see the first man out. "Jim's out."

"Gonna. be. fine," Bego assured Joss.

"Drakken and I—" Tim's scream came over the speaker.


	2. Danger Is Our Business

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

 **Danger Is Our Business**

The group around the hovercraft kept silent as Tim broadcast a stream of reports on their progress toward the surface. "See the light," he reported. "Wade's out," The terrain was too rolling for those in the staging area to see the first man out. "Jim's out."

"Gonna. be. fine," Bego assured Joss.

"Drakken and I—" Tim's scream came over the speaker.

"Tim! Tim! What's happening!"

There was a minute of silence. Joss and Bego both sat stunned, then Tim's laugher came over the speaker, "Did I scare you?"

"I don't know that guy," the greenish man called Abe commented. "But I want to hurt him."

"Only. if. Joss. and. I. leave. you. a. piece. He's. kin. so. we. get. first. crack. at. him."

"Help me back into the suit," Joss asked Bego, "Ah'll pick 'em up."

"Did you say Lipsky and Load?" Abe asked Bego after Joss departed.

"Yes."

"That mean something to you?" the red creature asked.

"You weren't part of the cleanup in Innsmouth last month."

"I'm too important for garbage details."

"In your imagination," the average looking man in the group commented.

"The big damage was done before we got there. Credit went to a Lipsky and Load for finishing that—"

"Any. Possibles?"

"Possibles?" Abe asked, confused. "I guess it's possible some other people could have been—"

"The. name. is. Possible. Jim. Possible. Tim. Possible. Joss. Possible. Bego. Possible. That's. me. We. were. all. there."

"Sounds like Team Possible needs a better publicist," the woman laughed.

Colonel Woodruff, uncertain what to do about the trespassers and waiting for an opinion from the civilians in his charge, ordered soldiers to begin setting up equipment. Meanwhile, in the small group standing near Bego, the average looking man announced, "They're coming back," and pointed toward the hovercraft as it returned.

"Six of you all together?" the red creature asked.

"Yes."

"Well, pack up and get out of here," he advised.

"Is. there. any. way. we. could. help?"

"Yeah, get out of here alive."

"Four of them were just down one of the holes," the woman reminded him. "They might have information that could help."

"They couldn't understand our work."

"That doesn't mean they don't possess information which might be valuable," Abe said in a soothing tone. "It can't hurt to ask some questions."

"Fine," the tall creature muttered.

The hovercraft set down. As soon as the hood was removed from Tim's head Joss punched his face.

"Ow! Why'd you do that?"

"Ya know darn well why Ah did that. Try somethin' like that agin and I'll blacken both eyes."

"You. will. be. in. trouble. from. aunt. Anne."

"Tell Mom what he did and she'll probably blacken the other eye," Jim suggested.

Abe Sapien introduced himself and those with him. "This charming woman is Liz Sherman."

The dark-haired woman smiled, "Pleased to meet you."

Abe gestured at the man of average build, "Garrett Omatta." Garrett nodded. "And the big guy here is Anung Un Rama."

"Call me Hellboy," the red figure offered. "This is a Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense operation. You have no business here."

"I suggested they might have information from while they were out there," Abe reminded him.

Tim spoke up, "I bet my brother some kind of giant invertebrate was out there."

"That's Tim Possible," Wade said by way of introduction. He pointed at Jim, "And his twin brother, Jim. I think you met Joss and Bego already, cousins to Jim and Tim. This is my partner, Drew Lipsky." Drakken nodded. "And I'm Wade Load. If we can help with what you're doing we'd be glad to."

"As long as it doesn't involve giant squids," Tim threw in.

"I'll hold him if you want to punch him," Jim offered.

"We cleaned up after you at Innsmouth," the amphibious man told them. "Not sure if you have any information we might need or not. Garrett is going to see if the dead soldiers have information."

"Before that," the red man told them. "Hey, Singh!" he bellowed at a brown-skinned man wearing a turban. "You ready to go?"

"Of course not," the Indian replied. "We don't have enough information."

"Do we ever have enough information? If we had to wait that long we'd never get anything done."

"Patience is a virtue he never acquired," Liz sighed. "Garrett?"

"I'm trying."

The dark-haired woman turned to the group from Middleton, "You didn't see surprised when Abe said Garrett would try to contact the dead."

"We know a couple toddlers who can talk with ghosts," Jim told her.

"And. I. can. see. ghosts."

Abe frowned, "Is there a problem with ghosts? Should we check on them for you?"

"Well, it's more like one ghost," Joss explained. "Her name's Helen. Seems friendly. Don't know that little Sheki or Hana could talk to other ghosts... Don't really understand 'em myself, but Ah've seen Helen through Bego's eyes."

"Ghosts are usually the psychic remains of someone who dies suddenly and violently. They weren't ready for death and they can't pass on," Hellboy told them. "Some are powerful, and evil... Not sure if evil is the right word. Maybe crazy from not understanding what's happening to them."

Garrett looked slightly irritated and held up a hand requesting silence. Those around him were quiet, with the lesser noise of soldiers and BPRD workers continuing to set up equipment in the background. After a couple minutes he spoke, "Don't have anything we didn't already know. Bullets didn't stop it. There wasn't room to use grenades or larger ordinance. If there's anything of their bodies in there they'd like the remains sent to their families. I think they're at rest after our conversation."

"That was no help," Hellboy grumbled.

Garrett shrugged, "Being dead doesn't give you the secrets of the universe."

"Hope they are at rest," Abe sighed, "after we blow the hole we may not be able to recover remains - assuming there are any."

"Singh!" Hellboy shouted, "you ready?"

The brown man in the turban came over, "I most certainly am not. We're not getting normal readings... Who are these people?"

Liz made introductions.

"We were testing radiation suits," Drakken explained.

"I don't know what you're looking for," Wade told him. "We took a lot of readings. They didn't all make sense to us... Radiation levels were dropping as we went in deeper."

"Dropping?"

"Yep?"

"Can I see what you have?" Singh asked. "Every job we do is different, but some are more different than others. I'd like to see your data before we attempt anything."

"Blow it up first and sort it out second," Hellboy suggested.

"I second that," Tim called.

"No. We. are. not. B. P. R. D. and. have. no. voice. in. this."

Drakken and Wade left with the Sikh to share their information, leaving the Possibles behind.

"Ah'm not really sure what you folk do," Joss confessed.

"Sometimes I'm not sure either," Liz sighed. "We deal with the phenomena that standard science can't handle."

"Some things, like ghosts, represent psychic activity on this world." Garrett continued. "Other things... Are you familiar with string theory?"

"Multiple worlds on different planes of existence stuff?" Tim answered.

"That's it," Abe agreed. "There are places where the boundaries separating one world from another get weak and creatures from other worlds can get into ours. Now some of them, if they were raised right, come out pretty well - except for smoking bad cigars–"

"There's nothing wrong with my cigars," Hellboy growled, and pulled one out from his duster. "Light me, please." Liz frowned, and a flame burned. The red creature took a couple puffs. "Thanks."

"And some of them are the stuff of nightmares," Abe continued. "Not all worlds are physical in our sense, and some things are hard to stop. Fortunately the portals... doorways... whatever you want to call them are seldom stable and can be destroyed."

"With explosives?" Jim asked. "Sounds like science does the job."

"Not standard explosives," Hellboy told him. "But they go off a bang. I don't really remember what Singh said about 'em. I call it a full spectrum implosion. It'll usually close down a portal."

"And. if. it. does. not?"

Hellboy walked over to a jeep, grabbed the rear end and lifted the back of the jeep off the ground. "It gets ugly. We win. You need to get out of here before you get hurt." He set the jeep back down and walked back.

"The. motor. is. in. the. front," Bego explained as she walked over to the jeep, "so. the. back. end. is. lighter." She put her hands under the front bumper and lifted the front end off the ground.

Liz and Abe laughed. "I could've done that," Hellboy complained.

There was small talk, with the BPRD asking question about events at Innsmouth, until Singh, Drakken, and Wade rejoined the party.

"Well?" Abe asked.

"I believe the expression is screwy," the brown man told them. "That is what is happening here. Something is screwy. Young mister Load has recalibrated some of his data collection devices, but it will be necessary to revisit the tunnels in order to gather information."

"Great," Hellboy muttered in a sarcastic tone. "Give me the doohickey and I'll go get your measurements."

"No you won't," Wade told him. "We designed this equipment. It may need adjustments during the tests. Doc and I can–"

"Perhaps a video hookup," Drakken suggested, "It, uh, really isn't our concern."

"Don't be a wuss," Jim argued.

"I'm not a wuss. We came here to test radiation suits not to fight some... whatever."

"It really isn't your job," Garrett agreed.

"We need data," Singh told them firmly. He turned to Wade and Drakken, "I believe, with some instruction, I can gather the necessary information. I would like the loan of your equipment."

"It'd be faster if we did it," Tim spoke up. "We didn't see anything last time. We'll get in and out."

"The BPRD doesn't like to risk civilians," Abe told them.

Hellboy looked at Singh. "You really need the info?" The brown man nodded. "Great," the red creature muttered. He turned to the Middleton group. "Raise your right hands." They followed his order, "Do you swear, as honorary and temporary members of the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense, to faithfully guard this world from evil shit, listen to orders designed to save your asses, and floss daily? If so answer, 'I do'."

Before anyone of the Middleton group could answer Liz pointed out, "You realize he has no power to swear anyone into the BPRD."

"We need information, they can get it," Hellboy growled. "I'm going in with them to make sure they get out safe."

"Assuming you can get out safely," Abe shot back.

The Middleton group entered the conversation with a ragged chorus of, "I do."

"Okay, suit up," Hellboy ordered. "Let's get it fast." He looked at Singh, "Will I need a radiation suit?"

"No, the levels in the tunnels are so low that you will be fine, unless you chose to stay down for a year. The creatures may be consuming the radiation, we can not be certain."

"Creatures? There. is. more. than. one?"

"We aren't sure," Drakken told her, "that was the working hypothesis Wade proposed. Always need to be safe."

"You said you needed better lights," Singh reminded Wade. "We will provide same."

After some arguing Jim and Tim were allowed to go back because of their experience the hour before, while to the disgust of Joss and Bego they were not allowed to join the expedition, although Joss again piloted the explorers out to the tunnels.

Only the red creature of the BPRD team accompanied them. "I'm the toughest," he informed them. "And I'm in charge. If–"

"Perhaps I should go with you," Abe told the four men, "to keep him in line."

"Let's just do this, fast," Wade suggested. "We'll use the route, with more data collection this time."

Singh stood by Bego and fidgeted as she checked over the communications equipment. "This can be very dangerous work. I hope your friends will be all right."

"Well. my. cousins. can. be. down. right. stupid. But. Doc. won't. put. himself. in. any. danger. if. he. can. help. it. and. Wade. knows. to. be. careful."

"I hope they can pinpoint the location of the anomaly, it will make our task much easier."

"I. can. see. the. location. of. the. anomaly."

"You can? What do you–"

Tim's voice came over the speaker, "We're heading in."

"Is that the joker?" Liz asked.

"Probably. they. sound. alike."

"Let's hope he takes it seriously this time," Abe muttered.

Joss returned a minute later and joined her metal sister. Tim was providing a running commentary as they entered one of the tunnels.

Singh took the microphone and directed questions. Underground Drakken and Wade made adjustments as they took their readings.

The brown man frowned. The data was not as helpful as he wished, and he had no idea what to suggest.

"Drakken says we need to be closer to the source for better readings," Tim reported. "Big Red says he's going to scout ahead and check safety."

"Tell him to be careful," Liz relayed through Bego.

There were a couple tense minutes of silence.

"Keep. talking. you. idiot," Bego reminded her cousin.

"Sorry, nothing happening right now. Doc and Wade are packing up our gear and we're waiting for news."

"Keep. talking. any. way. What. class. do. you. hate. the. most?"

Tim rattled about composition for a few minutes then announced, "Horn head is back."

The sound of someone being thrown against the tunnel wall came over the speaker.

"Your cousin lacks an instinct for self-preservation," Singh remarked dryly.

"Yep. that. is. Tim. all. right."

Tim told them in a whispered tone, "Wade wants to go a little deeper. Big guy says he's seen something down there. It's slow, but it's big. Drakken's hesitating."

There was a lull in the broadcast.

"Did the boom guy back there said we needed more info. How important is that?"

"Very."

"Okay, we're going a little deeper. Get Joss out here in case we need to out fast."

"Tell 'em I'm on it," Joss told Bego and started to suit up.

The Sikh questioned Bego, "You said something about being able to see the location of the anomaly?"

"I. see. beyond. the. visible. spectrum. I. suspect. the. thing. is. underground. but. I can. see. where. the. energy. it. emits. comes. through. the. ground."

"Does it make a difference," Garrett asked Singh. "Can it be treated from the surface or will someone need to go below?"

"How would I know? First we gather all necessary data, then we determine our approach."

Tim's voice came over the speaker giving details as they descended into the earth. Bego and Joss worried as the broadcast quality grew worse. Before they lost contact, however Tim announced, "Big Red says he hears something. I don't. Probably these suits. Anyway, Drakken and Wade are setting up and going to get data as fast as they can. You getting their readings?"

"No. So. you. have. to. stay. safe. and. bring. the. information. back."

"Roger on that." Tim made more small talk for a couple minutes. "I hear something too. Jim wants to head down that way and Hellboy won't let him... Holy shit!"

"Tim! What is it?"

"I... Bus-size... White and puffy like the Stay Puff Marshmallow guy in Ghost Busters. Round mouth, maybe three feet wide, grinders like he could chew through rock."

"Get out!"

"He's slow, but we're packing. Red says he's going to get a tissue sample."

"Did we send all the crazies on this mission?" Liz murmured.

"Just. speaking. for. our. bunch. I. would. say. yes. Of. course. Doc. isn't. bad. if. he. stays. on. his. medication."

"RUN!" Tim's voice barked over the speaker.

"What. happened?" Bego demanded.

Those at the base camp heard noise, and panting over the speaker. "I. hope. he. is. joking. again..." she said nervously.

"Are. you. all. right?"

"Wait... No breath..." Tim panted.

"Is everyone all right?"

"Fine... Later..." A minute later they heard, "How would I know?" apparently directed at someone whose radiation suit wasn't equipped for broadcasting to the base receiver . "Well, break a piece off."

"Tim. What. is. going. on?"

"We're getting out. Joss out there?"

"She. is. waiting."

"Well, we're moving fast as we can. Jim and I are carrying equipment and I'm saving my breath. Won't call unless there's trouble."

Ten minutes later the expeditionary force was back in camp. "Microscope, medical equipment," Drakken demanded immediately.

"Let's find out what this thing is," Tim seconded

Liz frowned, "I doubt the army brought the kind of diagnostic equipment you... What thing? What did you see?"

"We're not sure," Wade told her. "But your friend got some on his hand." He pointed to the rock-like hand on Hellboy

"Bullets didn't stop it," Garrett commended, "so you try hitting it?"

"He never suffered from modesty," Abe commented.

"We should know what it is if we're going to stop it." Drakken argued.

" _We're_ going to stop it," Hellboy corrected him. "You and the kid scouts are going home."

"And he discovered that when you stick your hand in it and pull off a piece it gets mad," Wade added. "And it can move faster than he thought."

"Well Drakken is your best chance of figuring it out what it is," Tim argued, "and I've got a five buck bet with Jim it's a radioactive mutant maggot."

"Guys... Testosterone..." Liz whispered to Joss.

"Yeah," the teen giggled.

"And we heard something about, 'What is that' and 'Break off a piece'," Garrett reminded them. "What was that about?"

Wade held up a chunk of what looked like a translucent sheet of plastic, the edges of the piece were rough, apparently from being torn from a larger whole. "Empty case down there. If it was like a snake it just outgrew the old skin and sloughed it off. If it was a pupae stage then it matured inside its chrysalis and we don't know what the mature version may look like."

Singh nodded, "More knowledge of what we're facing is always a good thing. Your Mr. Drakken–"

" _Doctor_ Drakken, if you please," the blue man sniffed.

"– many of the things we face don't leave such evidence. But we will supply such equipment as we bring into the field. I would also like to examine it, in case the substance falls more into our area of expertise."

Material gleaned from Hellboy's hand was carefully collected and the researches went to work."

Tim and Jim waited with their cousins and members of the BPRD team not involved with the examination. They tried to figure how to rig a device to measure the red creature's strength with the limited materials on hand.

About an hour later the preliminary findings were shared with the group.

Colonel Woodruff stood to one side to show he was in charge of operation, even though he said nothing and didn't understand a quarter of what was being said. He tried to look solemn and nod knowingly at what he took to be appropriate moments.

"The creature, or creatures, absorb or eat radioactivity," Singh reported.

Tim nudged Jim and gave a quiet, "Ha!"

"Shut up and listen," his twin warned.

"Whatever is out there is outside our usual experience. There is no evidence of magic, demonic or ghostly manifestations, or any of para-physical phenomenon consistent with our experiences. The anomaly does not conform to anything we've seen before, and there is no reason to think our usual procedures will work on this kind of portal."

"Any reason to think it wouldn't?" Liz asked.

"It might make things worse."

"Hey, if it eats radioactive stuff maybe is would be good to have them around. We could drop one in Chernobyl, or that power plant in Japan the earthquake hit," Tim suggested.

"Zebra mussels, nutria, Asian carp, kudzu, rabbits in Australia... How many examples you want of invasive species causing major headaches?" Wade asked.

"And whatever it is, is not of this planet," Drakken told them.

"Wait," Abe protested. "I thought Singh said it was from this planet."

"What I said," the Sikh reminded him, "was that is does not exhibit any of the paranormal phenomena with which we are familiar. It is entirely physical."

"And utterly devoid of cellular structure," Drakken continued.

"Hold. on. a. sec. all. living. creatures. have. cells. Are. you. saying. this. is. a. a. a. what?"

"All living creatures on this planet have cellular structures," Wade explained. "That doesn't mean living creatures on other planets have what we can identify as cellular tissue."

Jim frowned, "So you're saying there's some kind of wormhole, and the thing out there is from another planet?"

"Wormhole?" Garrett asked.

"What's the shortest distance between two points on a piece of paper?" Jim asked him.

"A straight line."

"Fold the paper so the two dots are one on top of the other. The shortest distance?"

"I still don't get it."

"A wormhole is a fold in the dimensions of time and space."

"An' if there's a backdoor to another planet out there," Joss mused, "there could be a whole heap of them maggot things wanting to get through and munch on radiation here."

The Colonel spoke up, "This is wasteland out here. We could probably use an atomic bomb to kill them."

"Perhaps," Singh told him gently, "but since the earlier atomic experiments at the site might have been what triggered the creation of the portal we should probably avoid that option if at all possible."

"So. you. are. saying?" Bego asked.

"I'm saying we've figured out a few things we're pretty sure won't work, and we have not clue what might."


	3. Danger Is a Pain in the A--

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

 **Danger Is a Pain in the A****

"A stable wormhole is really the best idea ya got?" Joss asked. "What're we supposed to do with that?"

"Blow it up," the red creature suggested.

"I'll second that," Jim added.

"Thirdsies," Tim called.

"We're not ruling out anything," Singh told Joss. "But a wormhole is the best hypothesis we have at the moment. Since none of us have ever encountered one before we will need to verify if the theory is correct. And, if the theory is correct, we then need to determine how to disrupt it."

"And then plant the bomb?" Tim asked hopefully.

Wade sighed and looked over at Abe, "Can we trade you the Possible twins for a first round draft pick?" The amphibious man looked slightly puzzled at the remark. Wade turned to Jim and Tim. "Science, not explosions. We theorize. We gather data. We test. We seek solutions."

"But the solution might include an explosion, right?" Jim asked.

"It might."

Jim turned to his sibling, "Okay, you won the five. Want to make it double or nothing? I say there'll be an explosion." Tim hesitated, and Jim clucked like a chicken.

"Hey, I was the guy who said there was something out here," Tim snapped. "You said 'Oh, it's nothing.' Now you believe me, and are asking me to bet against myself."

"I think you kids need to go home," Hellboy suggested. "Past your bedtime and you're giving me a headache."

Singh cleared his throat, "Actually Doctors Lipsky and Load have equipment which would be most valuable. A wormhole is our theory. We must run further tests."

"And wormhole or something else it's a phenomenon no one has seen before. I'd love to study it more."

"We. had. better. call. Aunt. Anne. and. tell. her. what. is. happening."

"Good idea," Joss agreed.

Singh looked at the blue girl, "You said you can tell where the field is strongest?"

"On. the. surface. The. true. source. appears. to. be. underground."

"We will test on the surface, and need you to guide us to that point."

"Wait," Joss protested, "radiation sometimes messes up 'lectronic stuff. Ah don' want anything to happen to Bego."

"The radiation levels are low," Wade assured her, "and we'll put her in a suit."

"You. are. just. jealous. because. I. get. to. go. out. and. you. stay. here," Bego gloated.

Jim and Tim stayed at the base while Singh went out with Wade, Drakken, and Hellboy. Joss piloted the hover car, but landed outside the field and Bego directed the others in.

"Go back and wait," Wade called.

Back at the base camp Jim and Tim tried to describe what they were calling the Stay-Puff maggot to the others.

"I wonder if they have some aversion to sun light," Garrett mused. "They seem to stay underground."

"Sunlight is a form of radiation," Jim pointed out.

"Doesn't mean they can absorb it," Tim argued. "They might even come from a world without a sun. They aren't like anything we know."

Joss insisted on bringing Bego back to the base camp after equipment was moved to the location on the surface the robot girl indicated. The men were out more than an hour, gathering data and testing hypotheses.

"Joss?" Bego asked.

"Yes?"

"I. think. the. field. might. be. getting. stronger. at. least. from. when. we. first. arrived."

"Lemme see," Joss offered and took her sister's hand. "Ah dunno, maybe. That isn't good, is it? Ah mean, if it is."

"No. Maybe. Wade's. instruments. can. confirm. or. deny. it. getting. stronger."

The worried look on the faces of those who had gone out to gather data confirmed the fears of Joss and Bego even before they spoke. "Did'ja figure out what it is out there?" Joss asked. "Is it a wormhole?"

"Well, since none of us have ever encountered a wormhole we can't be positive of anything," Wade answered glumly.

"We have had a great deal of experience with phenomenon which transcend normal physics," Singh explained, "but this does not conform to anything which the B.P.R.D. has seen. The wormhole remains the most probable hypothesis."

"And the field is growing at an exponential rate," reported Drakken. "It has probably been here for months, maybe years, slowly growing, but the rate is accelerating. Another couple days and..."

"There may not be another couple days," Jim added. "Time to try and blow it up, or shut it down, or do something about it now."

Singh spoke, "From the data our friends have collected, and the suggestions of Doctors Load and Drakken I might be able to construct a device which would possess a chance of collapsing the anomaly."

"You don't sound overly confident," grumbled Hellboy.

"And, given the fact that none of us have ever dealt with what we are seeing out there, only a fool would be confident of possessing the solution."

Wade offered his opinion, "Given the exponential rate I think we need to try something now. If it fails we develop an alternate plan, but we need to make an attempt."

"Makes sense to me," Abe muttered. "Anyone got a better idea?" He looked around, several people nodded in agreement. No one disagreed with the proposal or offered another suggestion. He looked to the man with the turban, "Well?"

"I can adapt some of our existing devices, but modifications will be necessary. It could take... It would be foolish to even offer an estimate."

"Got four geniuses here," Joss told the Sikh. "Heck, pretty near six. Tim an' Jim got a lot of experience blowin' stuff up. Or blowin' in, if you're talkin' implosion. Bet they can help."

"This way," the brown man sighed, and gestured toward a large tent.

Nervous small talk filled the next couple hours for those not actively engaged in attempting to find a method of closure. Jim and Tim exited after about half an hour, "Over our heads," they admitted. Hellboy paced, wanting some form of action and being unaccustomed to a demand for patience.

"It. is. growing. larger." Bego told Joss.

"Lemme see," Joss demanded and took her twin's hand. "That ain't good," she muttered as she looked out.

"You can see through her eyes?" Liz asked.

"Yep," Joss confirmed.

"Can someone else have a look?" the woman who controlled fire asked.

"I. am. afraid. not."

Abe sat to one side, thinking. As their technician had said, some jobs were more different than others. It was also the case that while all their jobs were dangerous some were more dangerous than others. He called over one of the Possible twins and engaged him in a conversation that appeared so casual Tim didn't ever realize he was being interrogated.

Eventually Singh, Wade, and Drakken emerged, trying to drag out something heavy. "A little help would be appreciated," the brown man called.

Hellboy strode over and picked up the device, "Bigger than you're usual stuff," he grunted.

"Well, none of us have ever worked with something like this before," Wade reminded him. "Now, we'll take it out and-"

"You will not be taking it out," Abe interjected. "You and Singh will be needed if this does not work. Dr. Drakken has more experience with lairs blowing up around him. He will be responsible for detonating the device."

"Me?" the blue man bleated.

"Jim and I will help you," Tim promised.

"Jim will not go with you." Abe continued. "This is extremely dangerous and the only the smallest number necessary will go. Ms Bego?"

"Yes."

"You will be necessary for your ability to find the best location for detonation. Hellboy with obviously be needed to carry the-"

"Ah need to go too," Joss objected.

"You are unnecessary for planting the device, although you will ferry them out and remain there to bring them back. Liz, you will accompany them to-"

"Why her?" Hellboy demanded. "You said it was dangerous."

"We know one or more creatures are already on this side. They lack cellular structure and bullets don't hurt them, although you were able to cause damage. We need all the information we can gather. Are they harmed by flame?"

Liz nodded agreement with the logic.

"And I'll go with you to-"

"No you won't," Garrett told him. "You said the smallest number necessary."

"I'm needed!"

"To do what? Breathe underwater? It's a desert out there!"

"But-"

"He's right," Liz agreed.

"Yeah, if I don't get to have any fun you don't get to have any fun," Jim chimed in.

The members of the BPRD and Wade glared at Jim.

"This is not fun, young man," Singh told him firmly. "It might be the fate of our world."

"Bego," Joss demanded, "Ya see well 'nough out of the radiation suit visor?"

"I. will. check. Probably."

Even Tim seemed serious after the comment from the Sikh. He glanced over at Drakken, "You ready?"

"No."

"Not sure I am either. Let's do this."

Joss ferried the five toward one of the holes where Bego told her the light from a field only she could see shone particularly strong.

"Er, What kind of a timer you got on this thing?" Tim asked Drakken.

"I can adjust the timer. Figure out how long it takes us to get down, set the timer for that plus ten or fifteen minutes, and get out of there."

"Same time," Liz suggested. "I suspect we'll be moving much faster on the way out than as we feel our way in."

"How big an explosion will that put out?" Joss wanted to know.

"Very little actually," Drakken assured her. "At least that is what Singh claims. He says he's had a lot of experience with things of a similar nature, collapsing some sort of portals."

"Won't be big," Hellboy agreed, "at least if it's like the usual stuff he comes up with. But we want to be away from it. And he said this is something different - I want to be as far from it as I can when it goes off."

Joss landed at the hole into the ground where Bego said she saw the strongest light. "Sure Ah can't come with ya?"

"No," Liz told her. "But keep the engine warm, okay?"

Joss smiled, "Sure will."

"You geniuses couldn't have figured out a good harness to carry this thing?" Hellboy complained as they went below ground.

"Too heavy for you?" asked Tim.

"Don't insult me. Damn thing is clumsy as hell."

"How are you doing?" Liz asked Bego.

"It. is. actually. very. easy. for. me. to. tell. which. tunnel. has. the. strongest. field. emanation."

Tim muttered, "Let's just hope we don't see that stay-puff school… Damn."

"You just had to jinx us," whined Drakken.

"Liz, see if fire does anything. You three - duck in here. There are no eyes or ears visible, but that doesn't always mean anything."

Tim, Drakken, and Bego did as ordered and entered a side tunnel. Seconds later there was a noise of a large something crashing against the sides of the tunnel with a violence that seemed to make the whole tunnel complex shake. Soon after the woman's voice called, "You can come back, it's gone."

"What. happened? Did. it. attack?"

"No. It took Hellboy's 'sample gathering' as an attack on that earlier trip and fought back. Flame may be something it is unfamiliar with. It tried to get away."

"May be blind," added Hellboy. "Thrashed around like Abe out of water before it found another tunnel."

"Abe is not a fish out of water," reprimanded Liz.

They continued their descent. "We, ah, haven't been this deep before," Drakken pointed out nervously.

"Need. to. find. the. source."

"And we're seeing more of the big creepies," Tim commented as they encountered a fourth.

"I wish you'd stop saying that," whined Drakken. "Every time you say that we see another one!"

"I don't say it until after we see them!"

"You two are getting on my nerves," Hellboy gritted.

"Don't take him too seriously," Liz advised. "He's glad for your help. We all are."

"Speak for–"

"Hush! Bego? Can you tell anything?"

"The. field. is. becoming. much. brighter. We. are. getting. closer. or. the. portal. Is. opening. more. quickly."

"Seeing a lot more tunnels here. I think we're getting closer to the source. Hope someone can remember the way out of this maze."

"I've always been very good at finding a fast exit," promised Drakken.

"Which way now?" Liz asked at a place where multiple tunnels joined.

"This. way."

Drakken asked, "Does anyone else hear something, besides us, I mean?"

"Probably another marshmallow maggot," seconded Tim. "Your fault this time."

"Sounds different," muttered the red creature.

Just then another huge creature wiggled through the tunnel Bego had indicated as their route.

"Told you," Tim said smugly.

"Shut up. It sounds different. Let this thing pass."

The huge creature squirmed by, and the five entered the tunnel."

"It. is. very. bright." Bego told them as they approached a bend in the tunnel wall that hid the way ahead.

It was blazingly bright to Bego as they rounded the bend. To the others it would have been as dark as the hole underground that it was, except for the powerful lights furnished by the BPRD. Even those lights did little to illuminate the scene from hell that greeted them.

It was as if the tunnel opened to a new world, a world without a sun. Dozens… Hundreds… Perhaps thousands of the huge creatures fought at the tunnel, to them a doorway from their frozen world, exhausted of radioactive nutrition, and a new untapped food source.

Teeth, designed to shatter rock, chewed at the tunnel walls trying to enlarge the opening, or were turned against their fellow creatures - ripping their pallid flesh as they fought for entrance into the brave new world. The tunnel was usually too clogged with the beasts fighting for entry to see anything beyond, but when the writhing mass parted enough for light to shine beyond the heaving, fighting creatures extended as far as the lights the five carried could illuminate.

Even as they contemplated the horror a lucky creature, scarred from the fighting with its fellows, oozed through the portal.

"Get out of its way," Hellboy shouted. "Find a side tunnel."

"Hope it doesn't choose this one for its way out," Tim prayed as they waited, hoping the thing would pass.

"Where do we, ah, place the bomb?" inquired Drakken. "I am anxious to get away from here. Put on this side or throw it over there?"

"You need to tell me," Hellboy admitted. "We've had a lot of weird shit to deal with, but never anything like this." He turned to Tim, "Can you reach Singh?"

"Too deep. I've been trying."

"It. looks. like. it. is. up. to. you," Bego told Drakken.

"What do you think?" Liz seconded.

Drakken did not like having the fate of the world placed on his shoulders, especially when it included a device largely adapted from someone else's technology.

"Either side should work. None of us want to go over there. I don't want any of them crushing it, or eating it, if they come through - but we should place it close to the portal. Liz?"

"Yes."

"Your fire will drive them back while-"

"I can't produce enough fire to drive that horde back. There're just too many."

"You can discourage them for a minute. Mr… Hellboy, if you and Tim will try and scoop out a hole on the floor I'll set the bomb for thirty minutes and-"

"Make it fifteen," Tim suggested. "And we run like heck."

"It took us forty-five minutes to get here!"

"We were going slowly, feeling our way. We can triple-time out."

"I say ten," Hellboy countered.

"We may run into one of those things on the way out and need to work around," Liz offered as a compromise. "Twenty."

"Twenty," agreed Bego.

"Fine, twenty - but remember it's uphill on the way out," Drakken grumbled. "And let's do this fast, before any more come through."

It was fortunate the creatures made no noise - at least in terms of roars or screams, or none of them could have concentrated enough to get any work done. The flames from the pyrokinetic were only enough to discourage those in front, but as those in front in front sought to escape the new and unusual pain those behind sought to surge ahead towards the promise of a new food supply. Huge bodies struggled and teeth ripped at each other in the melee a few yards from the five.

Bego helped Hellboy to prepare a niche for the bomb and Tim joined Drakken in arming the device and scooting it toward the hole dug for it.

"Set?" demanded Hellboy.

"No, just press this switch and get out."

The red creature hit the switch and shoved the bomb into the hole. "Run," he ordered as he began to refill the hole to keep the device in place.

He followed the other four a few seconds later, and quickly caught up with them as they tried to find a way around the most recent of the giant maggots to emerge through the portal.

"This way," shouted Drakken.

"Are you certain?" Liz panted.

"Trust Doc to get away from an explosion," Tim promised.

Drakken glanced at his watch as they ran. They encountered others of the school bus sized monsters. The blue man wanted to complain that they should have listened to him and set the device for half an hour, but saved his breath for running as they made another detour toward the surface.

Despite tortured lungs Tim gasped, "Joss? Joss? Can you hear us?"

"Yep? Everythin' set?"

"Bomb set. Getting out. Leave in six minutes whether we're there or not."

"No way cuz. Not goin' back without ya."

"Getting close to surface," he told the others. "Radio contact."

"Why did you tell her to leave?" complained Drakken.

"Only if we're not out."

"We'll make it," Hellboy promised. "Just keep moving."

Drakken kept glancing at his watch. Bego's abilities to lead them to the wormhole could not be used in reverse to get them out and the maze of tunnels made navigation difficult. How close were they to the surface? He wasn't sure. A sense of panic knotted his stomach. They had to be close, he felt certain. They were ascending. But after taking detours around three of the huge creatures they were definitely away from the tunnels they had used to descend.

"How… we… doing…" Tim panted

"Fine… I… think…" The blue man skidded to a halt. "You… jinxed… us… again!"

Perhaps the huge creature in front of them was the mature form which had emerged from the pupae stage. Perhaps it was another sort of creature entirely that had also come through the wormhole. But it was something very, very different from what they'd seen before. The full length couldn't be seen. Bego guessed about fifty meters, but knew it was no more than a guess.

"It. is. like. two. centipedes. glued. together."

"Quadrilateral symmetry," Drakken panted. "Never seen… Not from this planet."

The portion of the creature they could see corkscrewed itself though the tunnel, hundreds of thin legs scouring the walls for food.

"It's like a giant toilet brush," was Tim's analogy.

Hellboy ordered, "Liz, see if a little flame will hurry this thing up."

Flame did cause the corkscrewing beast to move faster, but its length continued to fill the tunnel.

Tim wondered if they could double back and find a way around it in the maze. What he saw was, "It's coming at us!"

The creature had looped around in a tunnel and was coming toward them. Long, hair-like feelers covered the blind head. Each side of the diamond shaped mouth, filled with needle-like teeth, sported a mandible, resembling long curved rapier, which seemed designed to hold prey in place.

"Damn," Hellboy swore and ran into the tunnel they had wanted to use. He grabbed legs, breaking most of those he seized off, but temporarily halting the advance of the creature's head toward them. "Crawl under! Get through! Keep moving!" he shouted at the others.

"I. can. help. with-" Bego started to say, trying to grab other legs of the monster to hold it in place.

"I said move! Liz! Out!"

"Come with me," Liz told Bego as she eased under body of the creature, thick as a tree trunk. "He knows what he's doing. Get out of the way."

Liz and Bego made it under the thick body to continue on. "Go," Hellboy barked at Tim.

As the teen prepared to dive under the monster the legs the red man had seized broke, allowing the beast to lunge forward. Two of the curved mandibles circled Tim, and a third headed for his chest.

Before the sword-like pincer could pierce the young Possible, Drakken grabbed Tim's legs and jerked him down - freeing him from the mandibles.

Even as Tim rolled to safety Drakken screamed in agony. The sword-like appendage that had been aimed at the teen pierced the blue man from the side of his butt, sinking inches into the gluteus. Tim tried to scramble back to help.

"Get out," Hellboy shouted.

"But-"

"Out!" the red creature roared.

Reluctantly Tim crawled to safety.

The two pincers which had held Tim were now closing on Drakken. Hellboy let loose of the creature's legs and grabbed the mandibles, one with each hand. The giant centipede-like monster was strong, but the being from the BPRD was stronger. The test of strength lasted only a few seconds, but it seemed an eternity of the impaled Drakken. Hellboy suddenly twisted his hands. One of the mandible snapped off, the other was torn from the creature's white flesh.

The pain drove the large creature to try to escape, but Hellboy recognized movement might rip open a huge wound on Drakken. He dropped the two mandibles he had crippled and grabbed the pincer impaling Drakken with both hands. The struggle was even more intense as the thing fought to free itself and the red man had even less leverage on the single curved spike.

"Gonna hurt," Hellboy warned, and snapped the mandible between his hands. The sword-like spike jerked slightly, and Drakken screamed again.

The creature, now free, corkscrewed off, retreating down a tunnel.

The blue man knew he would be unable to run, but the red creature realized it as well and threw him over one shoulder and sprinted for the surface.

Drakken glanced at his watch. Tim had told Joss to leave if they weren't out at this point. He doubted a being called Hellboy knew any prayers. Drakken knew very few himself, but they seemed to come naturally under the circumstances and he made up for any shortage of prayers from the being from the BPRD.

Joss had moved the hovercraft to the tunnel mouth from which Bego, Liz, and Tim had emerged. It hung suspended, inches off the ground, as Hellboy sprinted out.

"You were supposed to leave," the red creature shouted.

"Not without ya!" Joss called back.

Hellboy tossed Drakken into the hovercraft with an emphasis on speed rather than comfort, but the blue man had no complaints. "Move!" the red creature barked as he dove on.

Drakken grabbed something to steady himself, he was in no condition to sit down with the broken off bit of the monster still sticking out from his right butt cheek.

"Call the army, have a surgeon-" Liz began as the noise of the device going off erupted behind them. It sounded like nothing those from Middleton had ever heard before. A section of the earth heaved slightly and a great deal of earth collapsed, settling into the tunnels or another world entirely.

"I'll call for a surgeon," offered Tim.

"Bego, do you see anything?" Liz asked.

"Nothing. unusual. The. field. is. gone. But. creatures. were. in. our. world. They. might. have. survived."

"Not your job," Hellboy told her. "BPRD and the army can take care of anything still out there. I advise you head back after big blue gets his ass patched up."

After radioing the others Tim tried to stammer thanks to Drakken.

"Well… Your Dad is my oldest friend," Drakken managed to express, despite the pain. "And you're not Jim."

Tim managed a nervous laugh. "I really… Anything I can… Sorry… And if something had happened to me, Kim would have… Sorry…"

"Your sister thinks she's all that, but she's not."

The base had been alarmed at the request for a surgeon and medics were on hand to handle casualties. Jim and Wade were in agony of suspense as they were kept away from those returning from the field by the army until after a de-briefing.

"Drakken did something heroic?" Jim asked in disbelief when he finally talked with his twin.

"Yeah… I just hope he's okay. It'll be my fault if-"

"It. will. not. be. your. fault. We. knew. we. were. going. into. danger."

"You went into danger," Jim pointed out. Wade and I just sat here."

* * *

Captain Dickinson, Army Medical Corp, reported to Colonel Woodruff on the casualty. "I've done my best, Sir. But he requires more care than I can give him in the field."

"What is the problem," Singh asked. "Was the appendage of the creature toxic?"

"No, not that we've been able to determine."

"That sharp thing puncture something important?" asked the Colonel.

"Everything is important, but some is more important than… No, Sir, we got him stitched up just fine."

"Then what is this further medical treatment you're worried about? Are you saying Army surgeons are incompetent to deal with wounds?"

"Have you seen the patient? He's blue! And I don't mean depressed."

The colonel closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "Captain… You are aware we are working with the BPRD?"

"Yes, but this Doctor Drakken-"

The Sikh held up his hand for silence and went to the opening of the tent, "Is Ms. Bego nearby?"

Hellboy brought Bego into the tent. "Little blue wants to know if her pappy will be all right." As the captain looked at the blue girl a light bulb went off in his head.

"He. is. not. really. my. father. Well. perhaps. in. a. way."

"Uh, Colonel?" the captain asked.

"Yes?"

"I would like to change my report. Patient sutured up. He should visit his regular physician to insure no infections develop and to have the stitches taken out."

"How soon can they leave," Hellboy asked. "They should go home and let us finish our work."

"Dr. Drakken can leave any time," Captain Dickinson reported.

The Colonel told them, "I promised to meet with Doctor Load… He seems awfully young to have a Ph.D. He wants to pitch a radiation suit his firm developed for use by the army. If it's as good as he claims…" He glanced at his watch. "I have time now. They can leave within the hour."

Jim found his brother while Wade talked with the CO. "I was up in the medical tent."

"How's Drakken?"

"I think he's fine. I didn't talk with him. Better yet – he didn't see me!"

"Better? How?"

"He was on the surgical table, or bed, or whatever they call it. And they had pillows under his stomach so his blue butt was up in the air."

"So? He got hurt because-"

Jim held up his cell phone in triumph. "I got pictures! His naked butt is so going up on the Internet."

"Lemme see." Jim handed over the cell phone, which Tim 'accidentally' dropped. "Ooops," he apologized and started to bend over, making sure to stamp down heavily on the phone.

"Hey! Why'd you do that?"

"Didn't you hear how he got hurt? He was saving me from getting killed."

"You didn't have to break my phone! I wouldn't have posted it if you asked me not to."

"Yeah, sure."

"You didn't have to break it!" Jim grumbled.

"Yes I did. Hey, you get a new cell phone."

Jim brightened slightly, "Yeah, I will."

"And now, I'm going to call Erin," Tim announced, "And ask her out."

"Gimme your phone! You broke mine!"

"No!"

The sound of the squabbling twins reached Joss and Bego, who were talking with Liz."

"Do. boys. ever. grow. up. and. become. men?"

"They become men. It isn't clear if they ever grow up."

* * *

Lipsky and Load's radiation suits were left with the army for further testing, which kept the hovercraft from being as crowded during the travelers return to Middleton. Drakken, who preferred not to sit - under the present circumstances - stood much of the way, or managed to lie down on a blanket on the floor of the craft.

"That was fun," Joss commented.

"No it wasn't," came the vote of the man lying on his stomach.

"Well, it was important," Wade offered as his opinion. "And you were a hero," he reminded his partner.

"This is heroic?" grumbled Drakken.

"Liz. called. us. Team. Possible."

"Team Possible was Kim, Ron, and Rufus," Wade reminded her.

Joss added, "An' you."

"Team Possible two point oh," Tim suggested.

"Team Possible Two," Jim voted.

"Count me out of this nonsense," Drakken groaned. "I'm no Possible."

"But you're a hero," Tim argued, "and Ron wasn't a Possible."

"An analogy I could live without," the blue man grumbled.

"You're in," Tim told him.

"He's out," vetoed Jim.

"He's in."

"I'm out."

"You're in."

"No he's not!"

"Yes he is!"

"Am not! Am not! Am not!"

Joss giggled and whispered to Bego, "Liz was right."

"Calling. us. Team. Possible?"

"No, that they don't grow up."

-The End-


End file.
